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Previous lesson on Character by Keeley

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1.  Introduction

We’ve finally made it to the last lesson in this study of character.  We’ve been looking at what character is, looking at overarching attributes and virtues that go into making up good character, and we’ve looked at the role of suffering in building character. Now we’re going to focus on learning how to develop and maintain character, how to live out a life of consistent character. The purpose of this lesson is to help us know where to go from here.  Ashley and I want your desire for having good character to go beyond this study, and we want your ability to grow in character to also go beyond this study.  We want to point you to the resources and tools you’ll need to continue this journey in your Christian life.  We want to apply the lessons we’ve learned from the past 5 weeks and make it practical.

1.1 An Example of Character in Martin Luther

The famous Martin Luther who started the Reformation in Germany said:

“This life, therefore, is not righteousness but growth in righteousness, not health but healing, not being but becoming, not rest but exercise. We are not yet what we shall be, but we are growing toward it; the process is not yet finished but it is going on; this is not the end but it is the road. All does not yet gleam in glory but all is being purified.”

Martin Luther’s quote points out why we want to develop and maintain character.  Because we are on a path toward ever and ever greater righteousness as we walk with Christ and grow in our relationship with him.  So as we grow, heal, exercise, become what we’re meant to be, and endure the process, we know that we are being transformed (even though it may not seem like it or feel like it) unto greater and greater glory, because as we grow, we grow more and more into Christlikeness.

1.2 An Example of Character from 1 Peter 2:9-10

Read 1 Peter 2:9-10.

Verse 9 says

“You are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.”

We are God’s people and we represent him because we bear his name: “Christian” which means “follower of Christ.” This verse says that we are God’s chosen people, for his own possession, so that (this is the purpose of why we are God’s) we may proclaim the excellencies of him who called us.  Remember back to our first lesson on character.  Ashley talked about how the Greek word meaning “character,” arête, is often translated as “excellence.”  Well, here too, the word “excellencies” of him is that same Greek word arête. Peter is saying we are God’s chosen people in order that we might proclaim the “character” of him who called us out of darkness and into his marvelous light.  We are to proclaim God’s character with our lives… God has character.  That’s what this verse tells us.  And our purpose is to proclaim his character—we must have this character and be growing in it, so that through our lives, we demonstrate how great God is in bringing us from this darkness to life—people will see changes in your life (they should), in the way you treat others, in the way you respond to situations, in the way you make decisions; our character must reflect the excellencies of our God, it must reflect the attractive character of Christ—this is God’s purpose for us here on earth.

As a result, we must grow and learn to develop and maintain godly character because our character is meant to represent the character of God himself.  I want you to be amazed by that statement.  Our character is meant to represent the character of God himself.  Non-Christians should be able to learn what it means that God is love because his people represent love.  They should be able to understand the humility of Christ because they see it in his children.  This is part of our calling as Christians, bearing the name of Christ.

I am giving you practical tools for growing and developing your character.  I’m going to give you a model for understanding your actions and character (Handout: Character Development- The Model).  I’m going to give you a process for evaluating yourself and your motives (Handout: Character Development- The Process- 8Qs Log).  And I want to tell you about God’s promise to us as we develop and maintain excellent lives marked by our character, marked by our representation of God’s own character. We’ll look first at a model for understanding our behavior; second at the process for evaluating our character. And third at the promise we’re given as we grow in character.

2.  THE MODEL

Handout: Character Development- The Model

(This model is being adapted from CCEF (Christian Counseling and Education Foundation) in Philadelphia, a counseling center that is closely associated with Westminster Seminary.)

2.1  The Three Trees

Let’s look at the three trees. One we’ll call the Tree of Death, two we’ll call the Tree of the Cross, and three we’ll call the Tree of Life.

The Tree of Death is the tree that every human being is born into.  As humans, we are born sinful and without God.  We want our own way and our lives will reflect our desire to control and shape our futures.  Our character will be defined by the choices we make and the way we live.  This tree represents the way of death that is life without Christ.

The Tree of the Cross is fairly self-explanatory: Jesus hung on the wood from a tree nailed into the shape of the cross.  He hung there and died to forgive sins, to bring about wholeness with God, and to show his love for you and me.  (Rom 5:8 “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”)  The tree of the cross represents the powerful act that God has done and his promises to you as a result of his dying for broken people.  Jesus’ death isn’t abstract, but a real event that makes known to us God’s promises.  We need to cling to the promises in order to live changed lives and to develop and maintain character.  Accepting Jesus’ death on the tree of the cross is the only way we have access to the third tree, the Tree of Life.

Through the tree of the cross then, we have access to the Tree of Life.  Not only does this tree represent the eternal life God has given Christians.  It also represents the life that Jesus means for his followers to live right now.  As Martin Luther said earlier, “We are not yet what we shall be, but we are growing toward it.”  This tree of Life represents the life we are growing into, the character we are growing into; it represents life in its fullness. We’ve talked a lot in the past weeks about the foundation we’re laying in building character.  As Ashley pointed out in the parable of the building of the two houses in Matthew 7:24-27, when storms came along, the each house’s true foundation was revealed.  The house was either built on the rock, which is God himself, or on sand, which is nothing substantial and is apart from God.  We want the foundation of our character to be God himself.  To have this foundation, we have to look to the second tree: the cross of Christ.  We have to base all our actions, reactions, responses, desires on Jesus alone, like how we act in public (at work, out socially, in relationships, at church) versus how we act in private (how we interact with and treat our families, even how we live in our own thought-life). There are two aspects of trees we’re going to talk about: fruit and roots.

2.2 The Fruit and Roots

Let’s start with understanding the role of fruit on trees.  We can have bad fruit, or we can have good fruit: fruit that is rotten and unlikable, or fruit that is pleasing and appetizing.  The idea of fruit helps us understand the different virtues we’ve been talking about, like the one on the yellow Character Virtues handout Ashley gave us the first week.  The virtues we seek as Christians are the good fruit on a tree built on the foundation of Christ’s cross. But, our lives don’t always look like this do they?  That’s why we’re studying this, because often our lives look a whole lot different.  If you substitute an antonym or opposite for every virtue on this sheet, we’ll see a whole lot of bad characteristics.  These non-virtues are what we see as bad fruit.

I do, however, want to make a Distinction.  I said that the tree of Death is the tree for those people who don’t have Christ.  Well, because we live in the tension between Christ’s coming to give us life and his second coming, that time Martin Luther called when we will be “what we shall be.”  Because we live in this tension, our lives will constantly reflect good fruit, when we’re truly walking with God and making him our foundation, and our lives will reflect bad fruit, when we’re distant from God, when we’re not making the cross of Christ our foundation.  Our lives will reflect aspects of both trees.  The point of developing and maintaining godly character is for our lives to more and more look like the tree of life.  In each situation, we should begin to respond in ways that reflect these virtues, these character-istics.  I’m explaining this model to you, so you can begin to better understand your own life, your actions, and how they relate to your character.

2.2.1  Bad Fruit

We’ll start with looking at bad fruit (or things to avoid as we grow in character).  This is how we know we still have work to do in building our character.  One thing we have to be careful about and pay attention to is who we associate with.  What is our functional community and how does it shape us?  In 1 Cor 15:33 Paul alerts the Corinthian community, warning them to be careful how they live and who they associate with.  He says, “Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.”” We looked at this quote in our discussion groups a couple of weeks ago on our wisdom study.  Paul is drawing their attention to the fact that if they keep bad company, their character and morals are subject to much greater corruption.  It’s easier to rationalize bad or even moderate behavior when our friends are just doing the same thing…Also, in Rom 16:17-18 (which we looked at in the last study of Romans the previous 6-week series), Paul also warns the Roman Christians about the company they keep.

“I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites.”

Let’s read Gal 5:19-26 where Paul lays out both bad and good fruit, the fruit which comes from the Holy Spirit.

Read Galatians 5:19-26.

Verses 19-21 describe behaviors that are to be avoided. These would represent bad fruit (or bad character—antonyms of the virtues list).  Paul starts out with a list of qualities not to have.  I like that he says these are evident—these are things people should not do.  See how some of the words really do describe things we would consider blatantly bad traits (like sorcery), whereas others are a lot more subtle, like strife, or jealousy, or dissensions.  These can be more subtle and therefore hard to recognize in your life.  The Bible lists many other “vices,” or behaviors that are considered ungodly; The Bible is not exhaustive in spelling them out.  There will be a lot of things that you won’t ever find in the Bible, but where you’ll need to determine how it will affect your character—this is where wisdom comes in—just because something isn’t expressly forbidden doesn’t mean that it’s okay to do it then, you have to use wisdom…

2.2.2  Good Fruit

In verses 22-24 then, we come to see what is considered good fruit.  This list is famous for being the “fruits of the spirit.”  Paul lists “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” This list is also found on the yellow sheet Ashley put together, and again, we see that it’s not the only list of good virtues or characteristics to have, but it can be seen as representative of good fruit. See how our analogy of fruit growing on trees is scriptural and biblical? When we see these fruit in our life, we know we’re on the way to building stronger and stronger character.

We’ve talked about how trees bear fruit; now let’s talk about the second aspect of trees: the role of roots.  The roots of the Tree of Death and the Tree of Life are nothing more than the desires of our heart, and they reveal what our true foundation is.  Are we living, reacting and serving in ways that honor God or dishonor him?  The roots are our desires.  Our desires lead to the fruit we’ll see in our life.

2.2.3  The Roots

The tree of Death has bad roots.  In Jer 17:9 God says “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick, who can understand it?” This is our heart still in one respect, as Christians, because we are not yet fully planted in God’s eternal kingdom. However, the tree of life has good roots.  In Ezek 11:19 God says, “I will give them one heart, and a new spirit I will put within them.  I will remove the heart of stone from their flesh and give them a heart of flesh, that they may walk in my statues and keep my rules and obey them.” God himself promises to take out the heart of stone (or the desires that show bad roots, the heart unable to serve God) and he gives us (through his Holy Spirit and the tree of the cross of Jesus) this heart of flesh that is able to follow God that is able to develop and to maintain character.  Our lives will evidence aspects of both.  For example, you may respond to someone who is annoying you in a patient way, but then stew over it or brag about how patient you were to someone else…That’s why it’s important that our foundation is on the cross of Christ- what he did for us.  It’s not just an act that happened once in the past to give you salvation (it is), but it has daily significance for your life and how you live each day…That’s how we develop and maintain and grow in character.  We have to see Jesus’ love for us on the cross, his humility there, his unbearable suffering, his character.  This is God’s character. This model is primarily going to be a tool for you as you evaluate yourself in the following process.  I’m showing you this model so we can learn to understand our character better, so that we can change and grow into ever more godly character.

3.  THE PROCESS

Handout: Character Development- The Process- 8Qs Log

Let’s move into the process for developing and maintaining character.  Let’s put the model to use.

3.1 Illustration

I ran across a story in one of the books while I was reading to prepare.  It well describes the challenge of the process of developing and growing in character and how we relate to others. A reporter once asked the great evangelist D. L. Moody which people gave him the most trouble. He answered immediately, “I’ve had more trouble with D. L. Moody than any man alive.” The point is that we can’t change other people.  We can try, but ultimately we’ll fail.  Only God can change them in his own timing.  The same is true for us, but we have a responsibility to take care of the one person that we can work with and who is willing: ourselves alone.  We must look at ourselves in order to develop this godly character.

Look at the handout with the 8 questions on it (each question relates to one of the #s on the model).  These questions were put together in an effort to help you think through the model I’ve been explaining.  These questions will be great in helping you identify character weaknesses, seeing where you need to grow, seeing how the truth of God’s word and who he is applies to your situation, and gets you thinking and responding to God in ways that will develop and grow your character.   Take this home with you, make a copy, answer the questions, and use it.  Most importantly, be honest!

3.2 How do we put the model to use?  

First, recognize you can’t change the situations, only your response—as you learn this and work on developing your own character, you can begin to see that it’s only ourselves that we can change (this relates to question 1 on the handout).

Second, measure yourself, search for cracks, take an inventory of yourself—look at the yellow sheet, and note where you’re weak (spend time looking at the major areas of your life.  What’s your character like at home, with friends, with your spouse (if you’re married), in your community (and your church), and in your small groups.  Do you act one way around a certain group of people, but act in another way around different people?  Maybe pick something that you’ve really been struggling with lately (if that’s too hard, pick something that you think you’ve already worked through well).  Learn how to do the process to then apply it to the harder parts of your life.  This exercise is meant to help reveal our character—these are the negative consequences of bad fruit in our lives (this relates to question 2 on the handout).  See if there’s a pattern: look for weaknesses in a particular area of your life, or see if there’s a common problem that keeps coming up.  Think about what your heart is desiring in this situation.  Often you’ll easily be able to answer the question: “I want ___” (this relates to question 3 on the handout).

Third, identify and write down where you want to grow, write what will keep you from growing, write situations where it’s going to be a struggle, list excuses you might have.  Then challenge your ready excuses for why you won’t ever be good in this area. Decide to be disciplined about it—make this a goal.

Fourth, face the flaws and ask forgiveness: from God and from anyone you might have offended.

Fifth, look for God’s promises in scripture that are relevant to this situation.  Write verses from Scripture that help you remember God’s promises.  Promises like: God is my rock and my refuge, I can hide in him; or where God says “I love you”; or “I am abounding in compassion, slow to anger”; or “I will never fail or forsake you.”  Also, keep circling back through the process, especially when you’re really struggling with something.

3.3 A Personal Example…

I’ve done this process many times and in relation to many aspects of my life.  A particular example is a list I still keep in my old Bible… When I was a senior in high school, I discovered alcohol.  I had been a strong Christian growing in my faith, but I was going through a really rough time.  My dad had just died and then my friends all started drinking.  I decided I would start drinking too.  I went on my senior trip with my friends, and while I was there I ended up cheating on my boyfriend several times.  When I got back, I had to face the music and tell him about it.  He made me put together this list.  I wrote this list about the things that I wanted to be.  I wrote: I want to be a person to be believed in; I want to have integrity; I want to quit hurting him and others; I want to be role model, like I was; I want to be a better Christian; I want to stop making excuses; I want to quit making mistakes.  I wrote all these things, knowing who I had been and what I wanted to be, but I wasn’t in a place where I was even able to understand how to get back there.  I ended up going through many years of way more pain, because I didn’t have these things in my life, but I didn’t know how to get back there either.  (I encourage you to write a list like this.  Keep it somewhere in your Bible where you can refer back to it, yearly even.)  It took me nearly ten years to be able to say that these things are all now true of me again.  It was a long road, but by the grace of God, I am there now.  This list is a reminder of where I’ve been and where God has brought me.  I also want to point out that when it comes to character, you must realize that there’s no fast fixes.  It takes time and is a process.

When you work through this process, think about why you want to change and have better character?  (It’s not just to be a better person.)  Think about your goal, which we saw earlier in this lesson is to reflect God’s own character to others.  (I didn’t know this was my goal.  I only knew that I fell short.) Remember also what Paul said about how important your community is in growing in character.  If your parents are mature Christians, listen to their wisdom.  Have friendships with people you think are wise, who have good character, who you want to learn from, make the effort to get to know them, even if they’re older than you.  Ask your community to be a part of developing and maintaining godly character.  Find accountability partners; ask others what weaknesses they might see in your character.  See how you react when they do give you feedback—are you defensive or do you hear it and try to change?  Be bold in asking—don’t be afraid of their responses.

Hebrews 13:5-6 gives another promise with regard to character (question 5). Write down this verse as one of God’s promises to you.  The author of Hebrews says,

“Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, ‘I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU,’ so that we confidently say, ‘THE LORD IS MY HELPER, I WILL NOT BE AFRAID.  WHAT WILL MAN DO TO ME?’”

Now, you can substitute for the love of money nearly any other desire that takes you away from God, anything that is rooted in bad soil.  The promise is that God will never desert you or forsake you.  He has sent us his helper, the Holy Spirit, so that we won’t be afraid.  Here’s your good news: God will help you through those situations, don’t be afraid, those people ultimately have no power over you, because you live by the Spirit.

4.  THE PROMISE

That’s what we’re going to close with: the great promise we have as we seek to grow in character, as we develop it, as we seek to maintain it, and ultimately as we grow in reflecting God’s own character. The promise is this: God has given us his Holy Spirit.  The Holy Spirit is a helper in our development, an instrument of our change, and the means by which we have the good or “righteous” fruit.  In the passage on the fruits of the spirit, Gal Ch. 5 verse 25 says “if we live by the Spirit [and as Christians, we do!], let us also walk by the spirit.” We live by the spirit, we have the spirit, and the spirit lets us walk in this good fruit, allows us to have a good root, which is planted firmly in the great love and mercy of Jesus Christ’s cross.  We can’t underestimate the HS’s role in all of this. I want you to be able to take home this model of the three trees, to take to heart and actually do the exercise of processing your own heart’s desires (answer the questions for yourself on the handout—get feedback from other people).  I also want you to remember God’s promised help to you through the Holy Spirit as you go through this process.  Know that God’s forgiveness and grace are what truly enable us to develop godly character. The point of this whole 6-week study on godly character is so that you can learn more about it, but then to put it into practice in your daily life. Paul in Phil 1:6 says it well: (this is another promise- question 5) “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” God has begun the work and he will keep working with you to perfect it until the day of Christ’s return.

Questions for Discussion and Application

1. Reread Gal 5:19-21.  Do you think these negative traits are really self-evident?  Do you think non-Christians think they are self-evident?  How would you talk with a non-believer about this way of living?
2. What are different ways in which we can move from saying, “I need to change in this way…” or “I want to do this…” to actually putting it into action?  Talk about different ways you can move from wanting good fruit to actually having it.
3. How have you personally grown from this 6-week study on character?  List ways and examples.

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