Building Habits to Raise Lifelong Believers

How can you be building habits to raise lifelong believers without having to have it all figured out in advance? If you’re struggling to know how to get consistent sharing Jesus with your child, this is the post for you.

Introduction

The sad reality is that nearly 2/3 of kids (64%) raised in Christian homes grow up to leave the church. Just going to church isn’t enough in this day and age to give your child the best shot at beating this statistic.

But the truth is, there is something you can do to be building habits in your child so they will always have God’s word and truth and their own faith to fall back on in hard times, should they stray from following Jesus.

When I started seeing my young kids begin to have “aha” moments and see their faith “click”, I realized the simple devotion we had been doing for two months was really building habits that were easy to do but would have a huge impact on creating lifelong believers.

The habits weren’t hard and what we did is easy for anyone to do, and I set out to share them with as many other parents as possible so you could see how easy (and not feeling forced) it can be to have a huge impact (hello, eternity!)

Consistently sharing Jesus doesn’t have to be hard or time consuming. You don’t have to homeschool and have Bible lessons every day. But you do want to make sharing about Jesus one of the natural rhythms of your home, even if it’s only for 2 minutes a day.

In this post, I’m going to share:

• The importance of building habits to get consistent,
• 6 key habits you can be doing right now with your child,
• Some practical tips on how to build consistency, and
• A free checklist for you to print to keep you on track as your raise your child to know Jesus’ amazing love.

The Importance of Building Habits to Get Consistent

Building habits to get consistent with your child’s faith is just as important as being consistent with naps, bedtimes, meals, and the little things like brushing teeth.

The good news is that building habits doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Even though we may make it seem daunting at first.

The impact of consistent habits on children’s development and understanding of faith

1. Consistency provides stability and predictability

Consistency actually gives our kids a sense of safety and security. It helps them to know what to expect in a world that is coming at them from all directions. It shows them who God is, the one from whom all order comes.

Teaching spiritual values cannot be an afterthought or a “nice to have,” if you want for your kids to know Jesus’ love for them.

2. Building habits reinforces your family’s beliefs and Christian core values

Teaching about Jesus, through prayer, scripture, “fruits of the spirit” actions, is just as important to start with your child at a young age. And if you missed when they were little, just start now.

An ancient Chinese proverb says, “When was the best time to plant a tree? 40 years ago. When is the next best time? Today.”

Get started today so that you can help your child develop and grow in their faith.

3. Faith, to have a strong foundation, must be taught layer by layer

Take math for example. Nobody starts out learning algebra. We start with counting, then adding, then subtracting. We start with the basics and we add to it, building layer upon layer until we can figure out how many diapers our child will need if we’re on a 7 day vacation. Hint: it’s a lot!

And learning math is something our child will do for school every year of their school days. It builds and builds and builds, because math is foundational to our world.

Learning about Jesus is no different.

God, the creator of this world, is the foundation of math, in fact. He is ordered and perfect, and math exists because of his complex, intricate interconnectedness.

And because God is foundational. We must teach it as we would math, year after year, small concept after small concept, building upon what we teach every year.

Now that might seem daunting or too hard, but really, it can be simple. You can build a habit of doing a consistent faith habit in as little as 2 minutes a day. And 2 minutes a day adds up quickly to time that your child knows that Jesus is important enough for you to share him with her every day.

4. Children learn how to act by the behavior you model

Another component of consistent building habits is that your children see you living out what you are teaching them. As a parent, you model the behavior that you want your child to grow into.

A Christian is on a journey of ever growing to be and act more like Christ. Don’t despair though, it takes a lifetime. We never “fully” get there this side of heaven, and we all start in different places.

Let’s take the fruit of the spirits for example. We want our parenting to show our kids that God’s spirit is real and powerful in our own lives.

When your child sees you consistently showing love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, they will learn how to be those things too.

I like to think of this modeling behavior as “short-circuiting” some of the trials and errors I had to go through as a young adult to get to where I am today.

If your child sees you practicing these behaviors, no matter how much you fail, if he sees you talking about it, holds you accountable when you’re not, and you respond with admitting when you mess up, it’s a way more powerful tool than just having them memorize a list of words that have no meaning at home.

The benefits of routine and repetition in learning

Building habits isn’t just about you getting better or you being a “good” example. Children learn best through repetition.

1. Form better memories

Young brains are constantly making new connections to form memories and process the world around them.

When your child hears you saying or sees you doing the same thing over and over throughout their life, they habits become more ingrained in them and you!

This is how faith takes root and becomes more than just a childhood “foolish” belief.

2. Improve their faith “skills”

Who has a child that has seen a game of soccer or played as a preschooler and declared to their parent, when prompted to practice, that they “already know how to do that?”

As a parent, we realize this is foolish. But in our faith lives at home, we sometimes act as if it’s true.

The reality is that we, and our kids, need to be “practicing” our faith consistently, so it becomes ingrained into the very core of who we are and how we act.

Consistent practice over time leads to our child growing in their faith and it becoming a natural, automatic, part of life. The repetition reinforces our brain connections and helps make the complexity of faith become easier for our kids to understand and to hold onto as they grow and mature into adults.

3. Help them learn to build their own habits

When we build a habit with our kids, we teach them how to build good habits at the same time. And knowing how to make good habits helps shape our child’s behavior and helps them learn to self-regulate (i.e. self-control, one of the fruits of the spirit).

Again, your child is young and developing, consistent routines provide structure for them.

It helps them predict the world around them better, according to God’s way of understanding the world. And it provides a sense of security, because they know the creator of the universe cares about them and knows them by name.

All of this adds to your child’s overall well-being and development in the Christian faith.

6 Key Habits to Build to Teach Kids About Jesus

Because building habits is foundational to your child learning anything, and because you want more than anything for them to learn God’s amazing love for them, it’s important for you to begin establishing habits of faith as early as you can.

Six key habits that I have found to be foundational and helpful in getting my own children to connect with our faith are these below. You can do these separately, or build up to doing them all together.

(P.S. In case you want to go deeper on any of these, I’ve added some links to products you can grab from my shop, in addition to the free checklist.)

1. Setting expectations

Who likes to play a new game when nobody has explained the rules? Sharing about faith with your kids is like a new “game” (pardon the analogy), that’s new to your child. You’ve got to let them know how to behave and act during your time together (i.e. the rules).

Who’s tried to teach their child a new game, only to have the child totally disregard the rules and make us their own game? You can be frustrated or you can play along and encourage your child.

Both of these situations will be true when you first get started out. You’ll want to share how you’d like your quick time to go, and you’ll want to be flexible (and patient, another fruit of the spirit) when your child starts going off on their own.

You can make your own expectations up, or follow these setting expectations I’ve put together as a guide. But the key is to make the time seem fun and approachable and safe, so they need to know what you want from them during the time.

2. Singing a prayer song

Want your child to learn something new? Sing it in a song. There’s a reason preschoolers learn to sing their ABCs, it’s effective!

When we started prayer with our kids, we started with an easy song that they all wanted to sing. That way they would learn to pray and would volunteer to pray!

You don’t have to make up a song either (though more power to you if you want to!)

Here is a link to 2 quick and easy (and free) songs that our family sings before mealtimes. Our two-year-old would get very upset if she couldn’t be the leader each and every time!

3. Lighting a candle

By lighting a candle, I don’t mean a prayer candle in a church. I simply mean, have a candle, light it, and tell your kids that whoever listens best will get to blow out the candle!

You’ll be amazed at how intently they stare at the candle and hope to be chosen to blow it out. 

You can build on this habit by having the child who can remember one thing from the story blow it out.

Or, after the initial excitement wears off in a week, you can have a candle for each kid and find one thing positive they did so they can blow out their own candle.

And if you think it sounds hokey, just remember that Jesus is the light (John 8:12). That may be the only thing your child learns that day, but what an amazing lesson! 

Look for the good in your child and see each opportunity for them to learn one simple thing. That’s how you build good habits.

4. Saying the Lord’s Prayer

I have a cassette tape of a 2-year-old version of myself saying the Lord’s Prayer with a thick West Texas twang. It’s embarrassing, hilarious, and a testament to my mother’s dedication to making sure I knew the Lord.

If your child can string sentences together and you practice repetition, he can learn the Lord’s Prayer. And it’s okay for them to not know what all the words mean. Can you explain well to someone what sanctification means? I bet you couldn’t the first twenty times you heard it. Go easy on yourself and your kid!

The beauty of the Lord’s Prayer is that 1) it’s in scripture. 2) Jesus taught his disciples (that means your child) to pray it. 3) it allows you to use repetition to teach an important concept. 4) your child will always have that one prayer to rely on if they don’t learn any other ways to pray.

5. Reading the Bible together

Scripture is the living, breathing, words of God. If we want to know who God is and how to live, we must speak it out loud to ourselves and to our children.

Sometimes you can go big and try to read a whole passage together. Other times, 2 minutes may be all your child can handle. And other times, a simple verse is all that is needed.

It does not need to be complicated. You do not need a Study Bible to share scripture with your child. 

Just make it a regular habit to share a verse on the way out the door or to read more at dinnertime. Find what works for your family and try something new.

6. Doing family devotions

I like to think of family devotions as a more sit-down, let’s get through a focused time of faith together as a family, activity.

The family devotion was actually the first thing our family started with. It was where I learned all these habits, but which, frankly, can be daunting and overwhelming if you make it your first step. (That’s why I break down the 6 steps on their own, to make it easier for you to get started making a difference in your child’s faith.)

A family devotion is a great place to do your pray song, light a candle, read scripture, say the Lord’s Prayer, and worship Jesus, the Light of the World, together as a family. 

It’s a place where, if you’re further along in your journey—either personally or in what you’ve introduced and managed with your child—you can add in specific kid-friendly Bible studies or Bible reading plans you want to do for a short time.

By incorporating smaller goals within the natural rhythm of a consistent family devotion, your child will learn to see the repeating patterns (Lord’s Prayer, candle, etc.) as providing a secure place where you can add in “grander” attempts that may or may not work for your family, like a study.

Summary

Each of the 6 faith habits listed above are significant in nurturing your child’s budding relationship with Jesus. I’ve listed examples and stories to show you how you can simply add these habits into your daily life.

Practical Tips for Building Consistent Habits

We’ve seen how important building consistent habits are for your child to build a foundation of faith that will support her through her life. We’ve seen 6 faith habits that are basic and foundational for building the consistency your child needs. And we’ve seen how these small habits are all you need to get started. 

Now let’s take a look at some practical tips for making these habits really stick.

How to start and build faith habits with your child:

1. Start small in building habits

Just focus on doing 2 minutes a day and calling it a victory for whatever new habit you’re starting. Know that it can take 1-2 months of building a habit before it becomes automatic. Around day 10, it will start to get really hard. Keep going, knowing that it will get easier around day 20. Don’t stop at day 30, thinking you’ve got it, because you’ll just stop and lose all your momentum.

2. Prepare so you’re ready in the moment

Are you doing a Bible reading at the dinner table? Have your Bible by the table and anything else you need for the reading.

Lighting a candle? Make sure the candle and lighter are already in the place where you need them before you try your new habit.

3. Reinforce your habits

Keep going when it gets hard. Find a reward for yourself (can be small- bite of chocolate? extra 10 minutes watching your favorite show?). And find a reward for your kids (like blowing out the candle). They don’t have to be big to be effective and to help you associate the habit with something enjoyable.

4. Track your progress

If you’re looking to really take your role seriously to raise lifelong believers, you need a way to help yourself stay accountable. 

I find a checklist to be helpful for me to see how I’m doing. Don’t worry, my checklists even have planned days off so you don’t beat yourself up if you miss here and there. The goal is not perfection, but progress and consistency over time.

5. Stack your habits

Have your kids gotten really good at singing a prayer before your meals? Add the Lord’s Prayer right after it. 

Your kids have the Lord’s Prayer mastered and you’re wanting to start some Bible reading with them? Open with the Lord’s Prayer then read 2 minutes of scripture. 

The more you can bundle a new habit with an established or automatic habit, the more cues you’ll have to remind yourself to do the new habit. This reinforces the habit for you and for your kids, giving them all the benefits of learning we’ve already mentioned above.

Get past early roadblocks and challenges to building habits and staying consistent 

When you first get started, it’s new to your kids. That’s why it’s important to tell them how you want the time to go and how you want them to behave during it.

Know that you’ll go through an initial period of excitement for something new. Then know the slump of “do we have to do this every day” will come. These can help you acknowledge the challenges and plan how to get through them.

The main thing is to give yourself grace as you start this new habit. Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t do it one day. Don’t quit because you missed 4 in a row. Just start back tomorrow with a simple, 2-minute activity and keep moving forward. 

The goal is for your child to learn Jesus’ love for him. And she won’t learn it in 2 weeks. But will learn it from everything you do as long as she lives under your roof and loving care.

Download Your Free “6 Habits to Consistency” Checklist

If you haven’t already seen the checklist (6 Faith Habits to Consistency) and grabbed this handy tool, get it right now before you read any further…

The checklist is free, concise, and formatted to be printed so you can have this checklist as a reminder of one thing you can be doing for just 2 minutes today to teach your child about life serving the great I AM. 

And before you forget, share this blog post and the checklist with your other believer mom friends from church or small group. Or just share it with anyone who you know is a believer who wants their kids to know Jesus’ amazing love for them.

Conclusion of Building Habits to Raise Lifelong Believers

In conclusion, the best way to help your kids know Jesus’ amazing love for them is to teach and model consistency.

It’s so important that I don’t want you to struggle to remember, so I created this simple free pdf with 6 faith habits to build consistency for you. Then you don’t have to worry or stress about what you “should” be doing.

Be sure to download the 6 faith habits checklist and share it with another friend or mother who is on this faithful parenting journey with you.

Other Helpful Resources:

• 6 Faith Habits to Consistency
• Setting Realistic Expectations Guide: How to Get Your Child to Listen
• Jumpstart Family Faith Habits starter guide: Family Devotions
• Keeping Your Kids on God’s Side toolkit

Pin This Image: