Music was My Escape

Do you remember being twelve? Is it awkward to think about? Anyway, that’s how old I was when I started “borrowing” music cassette tapes from my older brother’s room…and his Walkman too.

I grew up in the stratosphere of the working-class-poor American family. It felt an inch higher than living in a homeless shelter. I can still recall my mother changing checkout lines because she didn’t want an acquaintance to know she was paying for her groceries with food stamps.

Daydreaming was my escape from the low self-image you have when you’re part of a poor and dysfunctional family system. Shame. Depression. Hopelessness. Poverty. They hung like clouds over our house. (Even now I have to repress the urge to say, “But it wasn’t all that bad. Lots of people had it worse than us. Mom and dad were doing the best they knew how. Besides, we had some really fun times together as a family.” All of this is true, but it doesn’t gainsay the fact that we were poor and dysfunctional, and deep down we knew it.)

Music was my escape not because I was a great musician. It was the message communicated through music that grabbed hold of me. Words set to music lifted me up out of myself. They set my mind and imagination on fire. They gave me hope for a better life.

Do you remember the singer who stole your heart at that young age? It was Michael W. Smith for me. I loved his look, his voice, and his music, and I did what we all do at that age. When I listened to him, I was the one singing. Wanting to be someone else is superficial and yet it served an important purpose in my life. All the while I was pretending to be “Smitty,” his message was embedding itself in my tender heart and impressionable mind. Smith’s message was essentially one of hope. Hope for a better day because the day belongs finally to God.

So last night I listened again to his song, “Seed to Sow.” It was one I listened to over and over again as a kid. This is the final verse:

Some people walk
Some people race
Some people vary in their pace
But God can use what you can give
Within the mystery of His ways
Don’t underestimate…

[Starting at 3:50]

One of the greatest stories Jesus tells is about a farmer who scatters seed all over his field irrespective of the type of soil (Matthew 13). Only a fraction of the seed gets sown on good soil. Jesus’ point is that God is like that farmer in that he has a way of giving everyone something good. God gives to everyone. Not in the same way or in the same measure, but God gives everyone something they can use for good.

As a twelve-year-old boy I didn’t know I had anything good to share with others. As a thirty-eight year old man I sometimes still feel that way. But it’s a BIG LIE. God has sown good seed in all of us. Our task is to become the fertile soil that makes the seed grow. When it grows it becomes life-giving food for us and for those with whom we share it.

Don’t underestimate what God can do with the seed he’s planted in you. Don’t let the fact that part, or maybe even most, of your life has been rocky soil. If you’re reading this message there’s still time to become fertile soil because God never stops giving. And within the mystery of his ways, he’ll gladly use whatever you’re willing to give back to him. Don’t underestimate the good God wants to do through you!

What is your escape? What is something good that God has given you that you can share with others? Are you sharing it now or is something holding you back?

If you liked this post, you might also like:

Keeping Perspective: Eyes to See by David Miller