Overcoming Online Worship Struggles with Kids

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been enjoying, yet dreading, online worship with my kids. It’s so hard as a mom to want to have church with my kids but to struggle with how to navigate engaging the kids. And yet, if we allow it, the struggles we overcome during online worship can teach us and our kids how to better follow Christ and be the church.

What’s Hard about Online Worship with Kids

If you’re anything like me, you’ve seen firsthand the struggles with watching church online and to have your kids engaged with it at the same time. Here are some of the main struggles I’ve experienced and you probably have too.

1. The kids are talking and fighting during online worship.

The kids are talking during it.

And the kids are fighting during it.

The kids are doing free play, which is good, but then it quickly goes south when one wants to interrupt another and play with the same thing. Or to play with it differently or just to get the other kid’s attention.

And by goes south quickly, I mean one kid knocks down what the other has been building, then that kid gets mad and lashes out, either by hitting or chasing or trying to scratch, you know, a kid fight.

They break out quickly and are hard to put out. And usually they happen right in the middle of the sermon, which means I don’t get to listen because I’m playing referee/peacemaker, or I get upset that I don’t get to listen.

If you have kids, I’m sure you have experienced the same. It’s hard. I get it. I see you.

2. There’s no peer pressure to be quiet

Which brings me to another point, which is that I miss the peer pressure to be quiet and behave. 😉

When we all meet together, we can model and point out positive models of how to worship. We can explain why and how people are trying to worship.

We talk about being quiet because different people worship in different ways. Some need and want quiet, and then there are also times that are meant for us to just be quiet.

When they see others around them all being quiet, there’s an element of peer pressure (or adult pressure) to listen to mommy and be more quiet.

3. There’s no Children’s Chapel

The biggest thing I miss is having children’s chapel during the sermon.

In our church, the kids are in the service at the beginning and during communion, so they get to experience church, but they go into age appropriate classes and groupings in the middle of the service for the sermon and for the quieter times when it’s hard for kids to be quiet.

We do that because it’s not age-appropriate to expect a 2-year-old or a 4-year-old or even a 7-year-old to sit quietly for 15 minutes or more when the content is not designed for their age.

4. And There’s No Childcare

Similarly, my 2-year-old is definitely not at a place where she can sit still during an hour-long service.

She has done amazingly well. But she also benefits from being around kids her own age and having a care-taker to meet her developmental age set.

It’s hard on parents to get much spiritual nutrition when they’re having to do “all the things” during the service too.

There are many times now when I don’t even hear the sermon, or I am breaking up a literal fight. Other times, I am so moved that I have tears running down my face and end up screaming for everyone to be quiet.

And I know that ultimately, my screaming doesn’t help anyone.

Making the Best of Online Worship with Kids

So, while I know that none of these situations is ideal, it is what we must do at this time. For those who are still choosing to not go out, or for those whose churches have not reopened in some limited capacity, it’s all we can do.

This is another opportunity to learn and grow and stretch.

This phase of parenting during online worship is a challenge, as in something to overcome, for me as a mother to keep my kids engaged. I must balance my love and desire to watch and participate in church when there aren’t the usual stimuli.

Being the Church

But, church is about so much more than our personal experience on any given day or year even.

It’s about coming together (online or in person). It’s about sharing our lives. Church is about following Jesus and learning more about him. It’s about breaking bread together (even spiritually).

The church is about a changed-life, knowing that the God of heaven was made man so that you and I may have life.

It’s glorious.

We must live into that. We must remind ourselves that in the midst of our current struggle, that Christ is King and he loves us.

He challenges us through our struggles to grow more into his image.

So if I struggle with being a mom during online digital worship and I have to repent of my screaming and if I need to learn better parenting skills for peacefully breaking up fights, then I will.

If I have to be the leader in our house and model for our kids how we continue to do church even when it’s hard or inconvenient or easier to just not tune in; and if I learn how to do those things well, and gracefully, despite struggles, then I am growing in my faith and in my walk.

And that, that, is what church is about. That’s what being a follower of Christ is about.

Conclusion

In conclusion, despite the very real struggles of online worship with kids of talking or fighting, lack of “quietness” peer pressure, lack of children’s chapel and childcare, it can also be an opportunity to grow as a parent more into Christ’s image. The struggles of online worship allow us to continue growing as the church.

In my next post, we’ll look at the flip side and talk about the benefits of online worship with kids.

What clever or creative ideas have you found for doing church online with your kids? If you’ve abandoned the practice because of the struggles, what’s an area you could address to get you back “online”?

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• The Benefits of Online Worship with Kids
• Meatless Fridays in Lent: Teaching Kids about Faith
• Reading the Psalms: Advice for a Busy Mom
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